Without relationship we are alone and the poorer for it. In my last post, the ebb and flow of relationships , I mentioned how we do go through times of closeness and times of needing space.
I
think of a relationship between different members, (be it family, friends, marriage, or partners,
male, female, or two or more people), as having a “life” of its own or being
another entity. I rather like to think of it as the "in-between-spaces" of my relationships. It adds another dimension
to the relationship almost like a third party. If one considers a mathematics concept:
two sets: set A and set B have common qualities that attract them together.
They still own their own uniqueness and independence (I will discuss this further at another stage) but the common part where
the set intersects is where the relationship is formed. In mathematics this is called
a sub-section. It is not the sum of the whole we are talking about here, but the
intersection.
This intersection is where the essence and "life blood" of the relationship is
found. Often we may feel that for some unknown reason we are comfortable with someone else. We can't put our finger on it but sub-consciously we match the other or connect in some way. Some say it is attraction or chemistry or something from our past that makes us feel familiar. This is where the intersection starts to grow. We feel it internally. It is intrinsic in nature and its identity has unique qualities that have
potential, abilities and peculiarities.
This “life” is also expressed
extrinsically and has potential power, possibilities and immense effects,
both for good or harm. The way it is expressed extrinsically or outwardly is through our actions, such as body language, words, behaviors, and our general way of life. Body language can be hand movements, the way we hold our torso or slight facial movements, etc. which are read by others receptors as well meaning or harmful or neutral. I think of these as micro-behaviors. Macro-behaviors are actions such as shouting, laughing, physical activities, statements and patterns we develop. Some times it is more difficult for us to know what is meant by micro behaviors than by macro behaviors. Never-the-less we should always check what is meant and not presume we know. Many a situation is derailed by presumption. The effects, potential power and possibilities are the results of our interactions as humans which can be either for good or for harm.
The energy of this sub-set begins intrinsically between two people and it is up to them how they want this relationship to
develop. They share mutual choice in developing the relationship and expressing it extrinsically.
In the next post I discuss: A relationship has a life of its own.
In the mean time enjoy the ebb and flow in the "in-between-spaces" of your relationships.
A warm smile,
Morag
